Zephyr
The details will kill us all. The number of things that one has to remember on an average day is staggering. Like this morning : I was packing my lunch and I suddenly remembered that my rent was past due. "Broccoli!", I thought, " I completely forgot about it."
Tangent: I've always thought that it is the act of swearing, and not the actual swear word, that gives us the release. Half the time, what we say when we are swearing doesn't even make any sense in context of the object we are swearing at. So, I think, if said properly, any word can make a good cuss word. This had prompted me, in recent times, to try to move away from my favorite D words (dang, darn and damn) to the new B word - Broccoli! This works fine - especially if I emphasize the first syllable. There was still the problem of the C word (crap) - what with WTC being an oft used expression. Broccoli just didn't go with it. Neither did squash. What the squash!? What the Squash!? What the SQUASH!! Nope. I am still trying to find a suitable replacement. But I do have something for the worst case scenario, though. Picture this : I work late on Friday evening and take the pains to set up everything just right and set off a carefully instrumented and synchronized set of runs and come back on Monday morning to see that no data has been generated. What the zuCCHINI!!?! ( you should say it more like zu-CCHEE-NI.)
Back from tangent: So I remembered the rent check. And there were a whole lot of others during the day. Passwords (remind me to tell you this funny chat I had with a service rep re passwords), names of people, names of tools, Perl syntax, C++ syntax, meeting times, where my car was parked, my list of chores, etc,etc. Frankly, it is exhausting just recollecting all of those now. And the last straw was this. I was at the Indian store this evening trying to buy rice. Now, I eat rice pretty often but thanks to the big sizes of bags that they sell, I buy it once in a long while. Which suits me fine 'cause I'll never have to worry abt the prices 'cause I have no clue what I paid the last time. The annoying thing abt rice, though, is that there are several different kinds of rice and several different brands and different sizes. And as if this wasn't complicated enough, the store guy changed the whole look and feel of the rice storage area on me. You can imagine how lost I was. I walked in, brimming with confidence, walked to the back of the store, turned to right, expecting to see a vaguely familiar bag in the lower left quadrant and it was gone. I was reduced to a mere shell of myself bleating feebly for help. I'll be glad when Google takes over the world and every time one of us G(oogle)bots walks into the store, a voice comes on on the overhead speaker and says : " Take two steps forward. Halt. Turn right. Pick up the yellow bag with a picture of a flower on the second shelf. I know you like the other one but based on your body fat percentage, this choice is better for you".
This has turned out to be quite the long post. Ze end.
Tangent: I've always thought that it is the act of swearing, and not the actual swear word, that gives us the release. Half the time, what we say when we are swearing doesn't even make any sense in context of the object we are swearing at. So, I think, if said properly, any word can make a good cuss word. This had prompted me, in recent times, to try to move away from my favorite D words (dang, darn and damn) to the new B word - Broccoli! This works fine - especially if I emphasize the first syllable. There was still the problem of the C word (crap) - what with WTC being an oft used expression. Broccoli just didn't go with it. Neither did squash. What the squash!? What the Squash!? What the SQUASH!! Nope. I am still trying to find a suitable replacement. But I do have something for the worst case scenario, though. Picture this : I work late on Friday evening and take the pains to set up everything just right and set off a carefully instrumented and synchronized set of runs and come back on Monday morning to see that no data has been generated. What the zuCCHINI!!?! ( you should say it more like zu-CCHEE-NI.)
Back from tangent: So I remembered the rent check. And there were a whole lot of others during the day. Passwords (remind me to tell you this funny chat I had with a service rep re passwords), names of people, names of tools, Perl syntax, C++ syntax, meeting times, where my car was parked, my list of chores, etc,etc. Frankly, it is exhausting just recollecting all of those now. And the last straw was this. I was at the Indian store this evening trying to buy rice. Now, I eat rice pretty often but thanks to the big sizes of bags that they sell, I buy it once in a long while. Which suits me fine 'cause I'll never have to worry abt the prices 'cause I have no clue what I paid the last time. The annoying thing abt rice, though, is that there are several different kinds of rice and several different brands and different sizes. And as if this wasn't complicated enough, the store guy changed the whole look and feel of the rice storage area on me. You can imagine how lost I was. I walked in, brimming with confidence, walked to the back of the store, turned to right, expecting to see a vaguely familiar bag in the lower left quadrant and it was gone. I was reduced to a mere shell of myself bleating feebly for help. I'll be glad when Google takes over the world and every time one of us G(oogle)bots walks into the store, a voice comes on on the overhead speaker and says : " Take two steps forward. Halt. Turn right. Pick up the yellow bag with a picture of a flower on the second shelf. I know you like the other one but based on your body fat percentage, this choice is better for you".
This has turned out to be quite the long post. Ze end.
Comments
I admit, its got a ring to it