cowlick
My dear darling LB : You are five months old already! That is *incredible*. When I think of around this time last year when your dad and I just found out that we were pregnant, it seems unbelievable that a year has flown by already and what was once just a big question and wonder in our thoughts is now a living, thriving little individual. Then again, life before you or at least before the thought of you seems ages ago. There is *so much* that has happened and that I have experienced in these 5 months that it is beyond me to be able to express all that in words. Some of it, I haven't even fully wrapped my head around. But let's just say this - I wouldn't trade this for the world.
It hasn't been all roses and smiles and contented sighs. Turns out that being a parent is like being shown the truest mirror and finding yourself falling severely short of your expectations of yourself - at least that's the way it has been for me. But luckily for me, I've had the most loving, forgiving, patient and lovable little companion teaching me how to be a better mother every day. I don't know what I would do without you. At the same time, I realize that being a parent means that I will always be a role model for you. Whether I like it or not, whether I am ready for it or not. So I am trying to see myself in that light. You see, I would not want you to be harshly critical of yourself or carry the guilt of words and actions that you did not mean. No. I would tell you, instead, that I believe kindness/compassion is the most important virtue and that being kind starts with oneself. When you are kind to yourself, you are at peace and allow yourself to move forward. You allow yourself to learn from your mistakes and believe that you can get better every day. And that is exactly what I am going to do or try to do.
I am so grateful for this wonderful turn of fate that has brought you into our life. The ups have been far more than the downs, the joys have far outweighed the frustration and the love has far surpassed the anger. Happy five month anniversary to the three of us, my darling. Here's to countless more such!
And so to some merry ruckus with LB.
It hasn't been all roses and smiles and contented sighs. Turns out that being a parent is like being shown the truest mirror and finding yourself falling severely short of your expectations of yourself - at least that's the way it has been for me. But luckily for me, I've had the most loving, forgiving, patient and lovable little companion teaching me how to be a better mother every day. I don't know what I would do without you. At the same time, I realize that being a parent means that I will always be a role model for you. Whether I like it or not, whether I am ready for it or not. So I am trying to see myself in that light. You see, I would not want you to be harshly critical of yourself or carry the guilt of words and actions that you did not mean. No. I would tell you, instead, that I believe kindness/compassion is the most important virtue and that being kind starts with oneself. When you are kind to yourself, you are at peace and allow yourself to move forward. You allow yourself to learn from your mistakes and believe that you can get better every day. And that is exactly what I am going to do or try to do.
I am so grateful for this wonderful turn of fate that has brought you into our life. The ups have been far more than the downs, the joys have far outweighed the frustration and the love has far surpassed the anger. Happy five month anniversary to the three of us, my darling. Here's to countless more such!
And so to some merry ruckus with LB.
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