Cassiopeia
New England winters
New England has two winters : one is a thing of heart aching beauty - of soft white snow on every tree and branch and fence and post, of warm lights, of bright mornings of blue sky when you can almost touch the crispness in the air, of quiet evenings and empty roads when you can hear the muffled snowfall outside, of warm cider and thick wool coats and bright scarves and hats. Of fields of golden bulrushes and stately evergreens. Of skiing and snow tubing and perfect Christmas settings.
The other is a study of misery. Of dirty black snow and wintry slush. Of late afternoon twilight and biting cold. Of endless snow cleanup and layers of clothes. Of empty trees and not enough sun. Of salt everywhere - on the roads, on your soles, on your floor. And the long long wait for warm outdoors.
The Moment
I had one of those moments today. It happened at a stop sign close to home as I got in the car and drove to the bus station. The part of my brain that is always busy making plans, checking my to-do list, trying to understand something difficult, anxious about some deadline, trying to remember the lyrics of a song, ... - the busy part of it faded away for a moment. And the more detached one, that is walking through the exhibit that is my life, took over. It looked around, observed the neighborhood, the little stream and the bridge over it, the houses and smiled. "So this is where your memories will be. Your stories. Your experiences. How different - from where you've been or what you've ever imagined! Isn't life so whimsical?". Does that ever happen to you? It happens to me every so often. I know that part of it is probably the immigrant experience. Growing up in a different country, I'd never ever imagined that life would bring me here. But then, I don't think I'd imagined that life would take me anywhere in particular. I've never really planned my life. I know - it's hard to believe. I have mental to-do lists on most weekends even, but no major life goals or plans. Well, at least nothing quantifiable.
That's one thing I want to do this year. No - not make life goals but to actually not plan the current set of moments so much. I feel like I am so involved in orchestrating the current moment, I miss out on it sometimes. It's a new thing, this - I know I wasn't like this a few years ago. A said something very similar when we were talking about New Year resolutions so maybe it's a sign of us growing older. He called his resolution " being more mindful - of the current moment". I like that.
The recap
So I decided I won't be doing a recap of 2013 on the blog for various reasons - one of them being laziness but I am listening to the instrumental music by Vitamin String Quartet from our wedding on my flight to Portland and I feel like I should at least talk about the wedding. It was perfect. I know - it sounds cheesy, but it really was. It was a beautiful summer day and the grass was green and my flowers were beautiful. And everyone that C and I love ( well, almost everyone) was there, happy and excited to be there. Our wedding colors were our favorite colors - blue and green with some yellow. All around us was summer and laughter and love. The flower girls and ring bearer were distractingly cute. We were lucky to have our closest friends in the wedding and their happy smiles. And our parents and siblings, with so much love for us in their hearts. The cake, the music, the dancing, the toasts - it's almost ridiculous how wonderful everything was. I'd never be able to pick one moment above the others. When I think of all that, I think " how fortunate!". I know that C and I spent quite some time planning the day and at times, it was exhausting to come home from a full day of work and start working on wedding planning but it was worth every bit of it. Not even in our dreams could we have envisioned such a beautiful day. And now, the memory is ours, forever.
End cheese :-)
And so to bed on the West Coast.
New England has two winters : one is a thing of heart aching beauty - of soft white snow on every tree and branch and fence and post, of warm lights, of bright mornings of blue sky when you can almost touch the crispness in the air, of quiet evenings and empty roads when you can hear the muffled snowfall outside, of warm cider and thick wool coats and bright scarves and hats. Of fields of golden bulrushes and stately evergreens. Of skiing and snow tubing and perfect Christmas settings.
The other is a study of misery. Of dirty black snow and wintry slush. Of late afternoon twilight and biting cold. Of endless snow cleanup and layers of clothes. Of empty trees and not enough sun. Of salt everywhere - on the roads, on your soles, on your floor. And the long long wait for warm outdoors.
The Moment
I had one of those moments today. It happened at a stop sign close to home as I got in the car and drove to the bus station. The part of my brain that is always busy making plans, checking my to-do list, trying to understand something difficult, anxious about some deadline, trying to remember the lyrics of a song, ... - the busy part of it faded away for a moment. And the more detached one, that is walking through the exhibit that is my life, took over. It looked around, observed the neighborhood, the little stream and the bridge over it, the houses and smiled. "So this is where your memories will be. Your stories. Your experiences. How different - from where you've been or what you've ever imagined! Isn't life so whimsical?". Does that ever happen to you? It happens to me every so often. I know that part of it is probably the immigrant experience. Growing up in a different country, I'd never ever imagined that life would bring me here. But then, I don't think I'd imagined that life would take me anywhere in particular. I've never really planned my life. I know - it's hard to believe. I have mental to-do lists on most weekends even, but no major life goals or plans. Well, at least nothing quantifiable.
That's one thing I want to do this year. No - not make life goals but to actually not plan the current set of moments so much. I feel like I am so involved in orchestrating the current moment, I miss out on it sometimes. It's a new thing, this - I know I wasn't like this a few years ago. A said something very similar when we were talking about New Year resolutions so maybe it's a sign of us growing older. He called his resolution " being more mindful - of the current moment". I like that.
The recap
So I decided I won't be doing a recap of 2013 on the blog for various reasons - one of them being laziness but I am listening to the instrumental music by Vitamin String Quartet from our wedding on my flight to Portland and I feel like I should at least talk about the wedding. It was perfect. I know - it sounds cheesy, but it really was. It was a beautiful summer day and the grass was green and my flowers were beautiful. And everyone that C and I love ( well, almost everyone) was there, happy and excited to be there. Our wedding colors were our favorite colors - blue and green with some yellow. All around us was summer and laughter and love. The flower girls and ring bearer were distractingly cute. We were lucky to have our closest friends in the wedding and their happy smiles. And our parents and siblings, with so much love for us in their hearts. The cake, the music, the dancing, the toasts - it's almost ridiculous how wonderful everything was. I'd never be able to pick one moment above the others. When I think of all that, I think " how fortunate!". I know that C and I spent quite some time planning the day and at times, it was exhausting to come home from a full day of work and start working on wedding planning but it was worth every bit of it. Not even in our dreams could we have envisioned such a beautiful day. And now, the memory is ours, forever.
End cheese :-)
And so to bed on the West Coast.
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