The Happy Gardener

Hello Endorphins, I've missed you. Yes, I finally dragged my sorry, lazy b*** to the gym today. The last straw was when I realized recently that if I didn't do something to contain this issue, I might end up having to buy a whole new set of jeans and we all know how much I hate that. And I don't even really dislike going to the gym. Just like waking up, if I decide to do it and just push through the first couple of minutes, I am actually pretty sold on the idea. And when I got out after the workout, the breeze was just right, and the right song was playing on my phone ... and yes, the aforementioned Es were making me giddy. But now I've blown all that good energy from going to the gym and an early dinner and some house chores by staying up so late waging wars against the Zombiekind with my peashooters and puffshrooms. Oh well. Every day we learn. Some day we will retain. And so, philosophically, to bed.

Today I entered into a life long commitment. And I did it with very little thought. Here's how it happened. I was at the checkout of the local Sports Authority, paying for my new gym bag among other things. Guy at the counter : ( reading the tag on my new bag as he put everything in a bag) and this one has a life time warrantee Me : !! Me : ( a brief pause later) so what happens if anything happens to the bag ? GATC : oh, you need to go to Adidas but they'll replace it for you. There. Me and Adidas. *Together*. Forevvvver. And they say such things are hard to find. A new wave of socks has entered my life. And with color to boot. (Haha. Socks and boot. Yeah, I am clever that way). Hope these last a decent while without getting all out of shape in two washes. Lots of such hosiery musings that I could share but my heart isn't in it. Time to go read about supernovae and such. and so to bed.

Accidentally ended up watching an hour of So You Think You can Dance this evening. It was an amazing episode. Such beauty, such grace, such power. It was poetry in motion. And after watching a couple of dances, I felt like clapping - not the polite claps that you have to pull out when you listen to a pretty-good speech, or at some wedding or reception or some other party but the unembarassed clapping when you have been awed into a semi-trance - be it by wit or elegance or wonder or persona. Anyways, here we are. I read somewhere - and I am definitely paraphrasing here - that "It is better to be content with all the seasons rather than be foolishly in love with Spring". I am not convinced. Rather, I disagree. First of all, love, by definition, is foolish. It is not a logical series of steps that ends with Hence Proved. Love is foolish. Love is overwhelming. Love is unreasonable. We demand so much and extend ourselves so much from/for the object(s) of our love. And we need l...

Softly falls the snow, slowly rises the moon, quietly blows the breeze, steadily grows the friendship. Slowly heals the bruise, quietly flows the time, steadily beats the heart, softly comes the night, and so fades my love. ~ finis ~

The lightning came first. Then the thunder. It didn't scare her. It never did - especially when she could see the lightning first. She opened the window a little more. Here was the wind now. Some drops of rain in it but heavy with the promise of many more. Her eyes closed and she smiled slightly. That smell. That heady smell of rain and freshly sprinkled earth - most lovely of them all. She leaned out a little, breathing deeply and settled on the arm of her couch. The only other piece of furniture in the room was a table lamp sitting on the floor and casting a dim light about it. I should unpack but it'll have to wait. Her feet were tired from all the walking and standing in lines. Her neck was sore from all the driving around town. Moving is *so* much work. It was strange how everything happened so quickly towards the end. A few months ago, she was vacationing in her home town with her parents and suddenly she was back and her manager was telling her of her group being diss...

Yup, life is complete. Now that I have the two things I've always wanted : Awesome cyan/turqoise/blue Vera Bradley bag and a pair of Keens. Yes, I haved Keened up. What are these Keens I speak of? They are just not-amazingly-got-looking, kinda funky, very expensive, seeming durable and extremely well-reviewed sandals that I've been mildly obsessing abt for the past couple of years. They are water-proof and light hike-ready as well. I will post a picture soon and you will see the light. As for the turqoise VB, it's already been documented in the past. Done. A life well lived. And now it's time to move on. To new adventures and new discoveries. If there's one thing that I've learnt over the decades of my life, it is the fact that every time I think that life is all settled and pretty much going to progress in an unremarkable, steady sorta way (which is pretty often - in fact, I am in the throes of one such what-am-i-doing-with-my-life-i-need-goals-and-challenges p...

What is a girl to do? She is to do taxes, bills, clean up, car inspections and all the assorted administrative chores of everyday life. And manage to convince everyone, including herself that she is a productive and contributive member of the work force. All this while analyzing the world, her words and her actions and shopping for a comfortable and not-bad-looking jeans. It is a hard life. It was a strange sorta day. Nothing particularly joyous - in fact, in many ways it was more of the same. Loads of work to do, a realization that the time is never going to be enough, uncertainty over how to tackle issues at work while still managing to do all one wants to do. But somehow through all this, there was a strange Zen. A feeling of being just about whelmed - not overwhelmed in any fashion. And once I made it home and got through a mini workout which accidentally included some cardio - I blame it on the fun Bollywood playlist that I setup to go along with my fun with weights - there came o...

Today Today I don't keep my cool Today I offer no explanations and accept no excuses Today I don't see your point of view Today I expect your acceptance and demand perfection. Today it is not "whatever works for you" but "this is what I want". Today you are not better than me 'cause I frankly don't care. Today I am tired of the voice of reason and pay attention to my own voice. Today I forsake the world and save my soul. Today I don't apologize - for my books, my songs, my choices or my thoughts. Today I meet the stare of my reflection. Today I am okay.

I walked in to work like happy little sunbeam today. I was coming off of a wonderful weekend - relaxing, pleasant and warm - and had decided to approach Monday with an energy. It lasted like 15 mins. As usual, things had broken over the weekend and were waiting patiently for me when I got back on Monday. Much stress was encountered. And then this evening, determined to run in spite of the heavy traffic on the treadmills at the gym, I came home, changed quickly and went out to run on the warmest day in a month or so. Only to find that the bitter wind made my ears cry within a mile and a half.I soldiered on, regardless, but pain was encountered is all I am saying. On that note, A Mid Winter Day's Dream : Snows melting, sun shining, birds babbling, outside my window as I'm pleasantly dreaming of spring coming. Blooms planting, temps rising, days lengthening in my warm thoughts as I dream of spring coming. But, daylight fading, cold winds blowing, gray clouds gathering outside my w...

A blog in 3 to 4 parts - snapshots of the weekend. We are bonded - bonded for life. We are different. Night and day with a million shades of gray. I bask in attention, especially yours and you stand back and smile. I jump for joy and sulk days away and you balance me out. You give me perspective. I am naive, eager to be pleased and give in to doubts. You weather the storms with solemn grit. You fear for my grace and I for your strength. Everything I learnt, I learnt from, with and around you. You laugh at my foolishness. I am foolish cause I am secure in the knowledge of your presence in my life. In everything I do. I stay a kid in your indulgent shade and I take you back to that carefree life with me. We will always be children. ~ It's amazing how a simple word, sight, sound or smell can trigger off a stream of memories. Like today, as I was in the car with C, I noticed that my lip balm had mango butter. And it smelled a little like it. Mango. Summers in In...

And so a new year is here. Another revolution, another year. A brand new, freshly minted, set of days. I am not usually big on grand celebrations on the occasion of a new year but I see the point. The ado. Say what you want about the future but there is no arguing about the fact that it is not fully predictable. It is unknown. Sure, you might find at the end of the year 2011 that nothing much has changed in the last dozen months but you don't know that now. Things may be different or not. The un-absoluteness. Hence the excitement. Yes, yes - Hope & Celebrations. Good stuff. As is custom (and when I say custom, I mean I have done this once in the past), I have decided to do retrospective of the year now past. It was a good year. By all counts, it was. I am deeply grateful for all of it. So this should be fun. Let's see : Ianuarius, Februarius, Martius : A hectic bunch of months. Looking for an apartment in the city, the relief of finding one that I like, The Big Move ( I act...