Blaenau Ffestiniog

So I have to tell you about last week.

After a trying Monday ( I don't remember the exact details but I'm guessing it involved less sleep and more crankiness than usual), I woke up on Tuesday and told myself that it is a brand new day and things will be different. Turns out, I was mostly right. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Here's what happened.

It started out innocuously enough. I fed LB, gave her a short amount of time to make sure that food settled in, and chatted happily with her while I strapped her in the car seat. The plan was to take a ~ 3 miles walk in the stroller. I'd mapped out the route and made sure I had everything that I needed. Water - check. Sunglasses - check. Keys, phone, ipod - check, check, check. Pacifier, in case she starts fussing  - check. And LB was consideration herself. She cooed happily at me, smiled and seemed happy with her lot. I took the stroller out first, made sure all the paraphernalia was in place , took LB out in the car seat and locked the door. And here is when the day started getting "interesting". I breezily put the car seat on the stroller expecting to hear the two click sounds that indicated that the seat was securely attached to the stroller. Nada. No sounds. No problem - let's pick up the seat and try again. Nope. Let's try pushing down on it. Nope. Maybe it is secure and I just didn't hear the click, let me try pulling up on the car seat. The seat easily came off the stroller. Oooookay. Let's do all of these again. And again. Let's get down on our knees and peer at the stroller and the points where they connect and see what's missing. Nothing. Let's randomly shake things a little. Let's kick the stroller around a little. Nope. I even watched a YouTube video on how to put the carseat in the stroller. Mind you, I'd done this at least 20 times before and never had an issue.
At this point, I was paranoid. I was beginning to imagine that something was off with the car seat and the height of the stroller - I twiddled with knobs, zippers, latches, etc that I had never even looked closely at. Of course,I was doing all this with a steady stream of muttered cusses that would put a truck driver ( pardon my generalization. I'm sure there are plenty of truck drivers who are squeaky clean in their language) to shame. Around 20-15 minutes after this whole drama, LB decided she'd had it with being strapped to a stationary car seat and alternately lifted up and put down and decided to start bawling. So we miserably headed back in.  I was madder than I've ever known myself to be and LB seemed to feed off of that energy and heartily exercised her lungs for a while.  Finally I calmed her down but  was actively fantasizing on all the various ways that the blighted stroller could meet its end  - all very graphic and violent. I shared some of these thoughts with C via text.  Next thing I knew, he was telling me that he was done with all his meetings at work by noon ( yeah, right) and heading back home.  When he bravely rushed home, fearing for his family and property, he found the house waist-deep in LB and my ( ok, mostly my) tears and under a pall of gloom.  After placating me by siding with me ( as opposed to the stroller), he pointed out the trick for making the car-seat click in such circumstances and kept coaxing me to go on that walk. I refused but finally requested him to watch LB for 30 mins and ran a 2 miler around home. Although I ran almost a full minute slower than my pre-pregnancy pace, the endorphins were just as I remember. I came back home, sweaty, tired and very happy.  And from that day, I haven't had any trouble getting the car seat to click into the stroller.

Why did I tell you this story? To illustrate C's courage in facing me at a time like that? Well yeah, but mostly to show how I tend to get hung up on little things and let them take away from some very happy days.  But why now?  I just realized that LB is already 3 months old and I only have a precious few weeks to share with spend my time exclusively with her. And I still keep focusing on all the negatives - why is she crying? why isn't she napping? why is she napping for so long? ( I tell you, I am a fool). So here's to changing my attitude and appreciating this fleeting time fully.  Here's to not letting car-seats and strollers ruin our days.

And so to fresh mistakes.

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